


Of wolf and man

by Kakashisith



Category: Metallica, Skinwalkers (2006)
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst and Feels, Character Death, F/M, First Kiss, First Time, Full Moon, Jealousy, Leather Jackets, Leather Kink, Love Confessions, M/M, Motorcycles, Polyamory, Shapeshifting, Vaginal Sex, Werewolves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-26
Updated: 2019-03-08
Packaged: 2019-07-17 23:14:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 11,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16105790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kakashisith/pseuds/Kakashisith
Summary: It`s a nice vacation-time for Metallica after the making of "Black" and guys are just having some free time.James Hetfield gets bitten by a wolf and weird things start to happen...And well, about Skinwalkers : https://the-line-up.com/14-facts-about-skinwalkers-that-will-freak-you-out





	1. Chapter 1

The she-wolf had prowled in the darkness. Trees loomed over her head and moonlight illuminated through the trees, lighting up her pathway. She lifted her muzzle, inhaling deeply. Several scents floods into her nose. She flicked her ears upward as she heard the scuffling of a rabbit.  
She whirled around, catching sight of the rabbit nibbling on grass. The she-wolf ran her tongue over her maw as she crouched, grass brushed her underbelly as she drew closer. The wolf let out a yowl, bursting at the rabbit. Shrieking, the rabbit dashed away. The wolf's tongue lolled out as she gave chase to the rabbit. The wolf leaped in front of the rabbit. The rabbit ran straight for her claws. Before it realized that it had made a mistake, the wolf clamped down her ivory enamels onto the rabbit's throat. Blood seeped into her mouth as the rabbit went limp. Satisfied with the kill, she picked up the carcass, slowly starting to cross the highway.  
When she was on half-way to cross it, she heard something coming, a curse and she got a massive kick to her stomach. Then it went black...

The blond, long-haired man stopped his bike, looking around. He was almost sure, that he`d hit an animal. If it wasn`t just so damn dark!  
He cursed and jumped off the bike, trying to see anything in this darkness. Oh, there... a big dog or wolf was lying on the ground, seemingly dead. The biker cautiously stepped closer, and closer... Nothing happened. He knelt next the wolf, touching her fur. It was soft and warm.  
*You poor one,* he thought and then lifted he wolf, wanting to drag her out of the highway. Suddenly the wolf growled and then she bit man`s wrist.  
"Autch!" the blond biker dropped the heavy wolf to the ground and jumped back, not sure, what to do next. His hand was bleeding from where the teeth had injured it.  
When he looked at where the animal had been, the wolf was gone.  
He sighed and went on his bike again. He put his black helmet on again and faded into the night. This wasn`t an ordinary she-wolf, she was much bigger then they usually were.

Later that night the blond biker arrived to his group of bandmates. He was still upset because of the wolf, but there was nothing he could do, not anymore.  
He went straight to his bedroom and he noticed, that he was the first one to arrive at the vacation-spot.  
*Very well,*he murmured,* now I can sleep as much as I want to.*  
But first, he had to check his hand. The wrist had stopped bleeding, so the blond man cleaned it up and covered the bitemark with a leather and sculls wristband.  
His silver scull ring glinted in the twilight, when the man stretched his muscular body. Then he yawned, pulled his leather jacket open and tossed it over the room. The tight leather boots and pants followed, until the blond was naked. The half-moon made his skin seem almost silvery, hair blonde and falling down on his shoulders.  
He took a bottle of Jack Daniels and swallosed some of it. Nasty, nasty shit. But right now, he had nothing else in his room.  
He looked out of the window, waiting for his friends and bandmates. The night was very warm, typical summer near to Atlanta. But the man liked it anyway. His injury was itching, but everything else was al-right.  
Before the man went to sleep, he remembered the wolf`s green, weird green eyes.  
*Doesn`t wolves usually have yellow eyes?* he thought, before he fell asleep.  
He had nightmares this night. He saw himself running from a pack of wolves- grey, white and pitch black, all of them with angry green eyes. But the wolves made no sound, he just saw their shadows following him and the eyes glistening in the darkness. He was running, but couldn`t get anywhere, it was terrifying.  
Then, next to him was standing the same she-wolf and looked at him. She opened her mouth and licked her white, pearly teeth. The man shivered, but still didn`t move. The wolf sat down, raised her head and begun to howl. The pack followed the howling, it filled the air around the man.

James exhaled with relief when he reached the bottom and stepped outside. The air felt fresh and new; a gentle breeze caressed his skin. James Hetfield seated himself on the rocking chair and watched as ribbons of golden sunlight spilled into the forest. The pine trees were a black silhouette against the brilliant gold sky. The dew drops, adorning the forest, seemed to glow with their own golden radiance.  
It was very beautiful this morning. He saw some parked cars and noticed with relief, that his friends and bandmates had finally arrived. Surely they were asleep still, so he walked to a nearby lake.  
On that sultry morning in mid-August the lake was as flat as any mirror. It lay without a ripple in the silver-blue water as if time itself had been frozen. From the tall pines around the edge came not a sound, no movement of branches, no birds calling. James had expected that some other campers would be close, but it they were they were sleeping off the heat in a tent or some other shaded place. He snorted to himself, apparently he was the only creature to be dumb enough to be out in this heat-wave. His eyes dropped to the water, clean enough to drink. He bent down with cupped hands and drank, drips falling from his lips, sending ripples in ever widening circles until they disappeared. The taste surprised him, it was missing something. Was it chlorine, fluoride maybe? Whatever it was, he liked it; before his lips had dried his hand was returning with more and he was sorely tempted to wade in clothes and all.  
Then he knelt down and washed his injury. It looked as it had to look- a bite. Then he took off his clothes and slowly walked into the hot water.  
He enjoyed the hot water an hour or so, then decided to go back inside. But when he turned his head, he saw Dave Mustaine just sitting on the sand and watching him. James didn`t know, what to do- he was totally naked. So he stayed in the water, covering his groin.  
"Would you please look elsewhere? I`m coming out," he said to his friend, a bit angst in his voice.  
"Hah, why? I already saw everything, whether I wanted or not!" came the answer.  
Blushing, James walked out of the water, not sure, if he should be angry or something else. The way Dave looked at him was... making him feel uncomfortable.  
James got dressed and turned to see Dave still looking at his direction. For a second, anger hit him.  
"I thought I told you to look somewhere else..."he snarled.  
"Why should I?" asked Dave, cocking his head,"besides, you have a nice body."  
"What?"  
Confused, James hurried to the summerhouse. Now, his mind was in total confusion.  
*What`s going on with Dave? To think, that he was thinking of me this way...*he shook his head so, that his blonde hair was a mess and hurried to the kitchen.  
*I really screwed up,*thought Dave Mustaine, following his friend with eyes.  
In the meantime, James was trying to find something to eat, but his brain kept him occupied.  
*I`m not sure if I am able to face him or myself,* he went to the freezer and got himself a cold beer.* My mind`s still prepared to run away...*  
He opened the beer and took a big sip. Heineken always tasted heavenly.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the clumsy start!

When Lars Ulrich entered the kitchen, he noticed half-drunken James next to the table and about dozen bottles of beer everywhere around.  
"Man, what`s wrong with you?" he asked. "You`re not yourself today."  
"Damn right I`m not!" James tried to turn around, but almost lost his balance.  
"Jason, come here!" called Lars, trying to hold James from falling." We got a problem here!"  
"Shit!"  
Both men somehow succeeded to hold the lead-singer up and from crashing to the floor.  
"What`s gotten into him?" asked Jason Newsted, putting his arm around James` waist. The singer tried to push it off, hurting his injured hand.  
"Goddamit...Can`t you be a bit... more careful?"  
Lars noticed the swollen hand and took James` wrist to check it.  
"Whoa...that`s one nasty wound you got there, Het!"  
James Hetfield tried to get his wrist free from Lars` grab, but was too drunk to manage it. "It`s... nothing..."he slurred.  
Lars and Jason looked at eachother for a second. Then they carried the drunken singer into his room and helped him get to the bed.  
Quietly, Lars closed the door behind him, after Jason had stepped outside.  
"What do you think happened with Het?" asked Lars.  
"I have no slightest idea." Jason shook his shoulders. "He`s acting weird and this wound doesn`t look good."  
"Rabies?"  
"Don`t think so...Just let him sleep."  
"Fine,"Lars walked to the front door, then turned around for a minute,"I`ll go outside and check for David."  
"Have fun, I follow you, guys later. Gotta get something to eat."

James woke up, laying awake for some minutes, staring at the ceiling, letting the eeriness of silence sink in. He realized, that he was still in his jeans, which were extremely uncomfortable to sleep in. They just were too damn tight around his body. He wondered, why he`d even bought those particular jeans. Oh, yeah, David Mustaine had told him, that he would look good in them. Dave... He still was a bit angry to David, and also surprised.  
"Shouldn`t have drink all those beers,"he thought, slowly standing up. His head was hurting.  
But there was something more- he felt so much energy, like never before. This was new and it felt good. Despite the hangover, James was ready to do whatever came in mind. Then he saw an old book lying in the corner. It was dusty and covered with cobwebs. He picked it up and opened it.  
The pictures of wolves and fighting people caught his eye, these were scary even to him. He turned some pages and then saw a text.  
/ Every quarter century, on one night turing the eclipse a beast or she-beast comes out from the forest to claim his/her bride. This is called The Taking. He/she roams from door to door searching from the man/woman bitten before by a pack member. The one, who`s been marked to be a new leader of the Pack. He/she will kill, destroy and mutilate everyone in his/her path until the mate is found. The Wolf is not alone, they came in a huge pack, so do not try to stop them, or you`ll be dead./  
James Hetfield let the book fall to floor, this was horrible! Somekind of a myth about werewolves. This cannot be real...  
*Come on, man*he thought, *it was just a bite. Nothing else.*  
When he looked outside, it was already night. He stared out of the window and smirked. All he saw there, was a bunch of trees.  
The sky looked clear, not a cloud could be seen and a slightly full moon on the baze of the horizon. Stars littered over the sky and two parallel lights gleamed strict at him...  
"Wait... what?"  
James blinked his blue eyes a couple of times and still saw them.  
"Get a grip."he told himself loudly.  
Trying not to pakick, James slowly walked closer to the window and peered out into the forest. He saw the two lights again, but as soon as he closed the window, they moved slowly away. A wild animal, a wolf!  
James Hetfield wasn`t sure if the animal could see him or not, but he was scared. It was sure, that something weird was going on and he felt like he wanted to follow an animalistic call...  
He felt nervous and full of energy, ready to do whatever comes in mind. Then, there was pain. So much pain...  
The pain was excruciating, James barely could stand it. He arched his back and was speechless at the intensity of the pain going through his body. He fell to his arms and knees. His spine become hunched, squashing his lungs and ribs, James gasped for air, only increasing the pain in his chest. With a loud crack his ribcage angled forward, making room for his lungs.  
All was still for a few moments. The last drops of pain were gone. Was it over? No...  
His jaw begun to crack, his ears and throat swelling and popping as his face took a new form. A new pain like toothache begun throughout his entire mouth as his teeth grew and become sharp, puncturing the skin in his mouth. To accomodate his new teeth, his lips were pulled and reshaped, tearing and healing. His mouth stretched, cracked and shaped into a square muzzle. His scalp tightened as his hair seemed to be sucked into it, becoming a white fur. He tried to scream at this new pain, but all that come out was a howling.  
A new pain from his legs. Again, an attempt to scream, but only a howl. His feet grew and become more muscular, creating almost a new joint, his hands become half-paws, quite horrific. The end of his spine grew and there was a tail, covered with white fur.  
Now James looked like a deformed, semi-lupine human. Shifting in horror, James lifted his arm to observe it on moonlight. A thing layer of white fur grew all over his body, each hair feeling like a prick as it punctured his skin. Immediately, a thicker layer of fur stabbed from beneath his skin, actually making him bleed. Again he screamed, but this time it neither a scream or howl. It was pained, screeching roar! The transformation nearly complete, James Hetfield rose to his feet, his entire body quivering in fear, hunger and pain.  
He was still clothed, and he seemed to look now more like a werewolf than a man, a white wolf with piercing blue eyes. A huge alpha-wolf...  
His new muscles ripped his jeans and t-shirt apart, but his decency was saved by the fur, that covered him. When this was over, he relaxed and fell to his knees, shaking and matted with blood and sweat.  
Weakly, he lifted his head to gaze at the moon, that had done this to him. He howled a loud, mournful cry to the glistening sphere in the sky. In his howl he added all the pain and suffering he just went through, the fear of the future, and the confusion he now felt. Then, he jumped out of the window and headed to the forest nearby.


	3. Chapter 3

When now half-way transformed James raised his head again, he was surprised to see a she-wolf, only five feet away.  
She leaned against a tree, green eyes fixed on the transforming man. She had long, black fur and familiar eyes. A realization hit the man- she was the one, who bit him, when he was with his bike on the road!  
She chuckled, "Don`t worry, my friend. Not every transformation will include this pain. Most are easy and smooth," her voice was calm and deep, when she showed the man her own transformation between woman and wolf.   
"There must always be blood, though,"she licked her bloody red lips, smiling. "but it doesn`t have to be your blood, if you get my point. By the way, my name is Sonja. What`s yours?"  
"Ja-James,"asnwered the man, looking around. He wasn`t sure, but he could see two pairs of green eyes in the shadows."What are you talking about blood? Do I have to kill?"  
"Yes, unless you don`t want to go through this pain again," Sonja smiled, stepping closer. "If you don`t kill on full moon, the next transformation will be very painful, more than this one." she chuckled again, as she turned to walk away.  
"Come, lay beside me,"she called, "This won`t hurt. I swear..."  
James cautiously raised to his feet as his shaking had almost stopped. He looked down at himself, concluding that this was the way a werewolf should look like. There shouldn`t be anything else to change.   
A splitting pain run through his head, tongue and neck and he grasped his scull with his hands. An explosion of senses echoed through his mind, as he lost control of his instincts. He was blinded by a new, vivid sight.   
"Lay beside me, under wicked sky,"sayd the black-haired woman again, now fully in human shape, reaching her small hand towards James,"Through black of day, dark of night, we share this paralyze..."  
The man said nothing, only followed his new instincts. Right now, Sonja was everything he wanted, needed.   
Her lips curled into a smile and the look in his eyes was priceless when she didn`t avoid his lips as they came to capture her mouth. The kiss ignited a fire, that blazed through her body and for the first time she felt like whole. Whole with this strong man, the new Alpha. She didn`t say anything as he moved her down to the wet grass, and started kissing her neck. She moaned, as James` lips trailed down to her pulse point, stopping above the curve of her breasts. And she screamed, when he finally took a nipple into his hot mouth, a burst of heat washing over her, as the man pleasured her with his teeth and lips. She felt him smile against her breasts, an animalistic smile, she arched her back to offer him more.   
"So fucking beautiful," she heared James say to himself, while kissing her other breast.   
"James..."  
The man stopped, looking her right in the eyes. "Did you say anything?"  
She shook her head, relaxing under his touch. He was playing and teasing, making her somehow wetter, than she`d ever been before. He slowly pushed two fingers in, and she was grinding against him. If he was this good with his fingers, then Sonja wanted to find out, how good he was with his cock...  
"I need you..."she raised her head, looking him into the eyes, wanting him to see that she ment what she was saying.   
James felt the raw, animalistic power of dominance surging in his veins. Was it him or the werewolf`s will? He didn`t know, it didn`t matter anymore...  
And now, that she had submitted, he could dominate. He rolled her over, placing her on all fours, his chest pressed against her as he positioned himself against her.  
"Last chance to back away..."  
She shook her head. Sonja didn`t know, why she wanted it so bad, why she needed this young werewolf inside her.   
"Well then."  
The man forgot everything about control, giving in to his animal side, and slammed into her, her eyes closing when he pushed himself up to the hilt with one, quick thrust. She let out a howl, feeling stretched and filled completely, but James felt the increasing of her heartbeat and knew immediately, that she`s hurt.   
He cursed at himself, as he fought for self-control and kissed her shoulder.  
"I...I`m sorry," he managed out somehow.  
"It`s okay... just do it!"  
She started to relax and when her breathing calmed down, James knew, that Sonja was ready.   
"James! Oh my.... aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaauuuuuoohhh!" she tried to hold herself from not falling face down to the ground, burying her head between her arms to hide the cries of pleasure that he elicted from her.  
The young man fell into the brutal rhytm, the sheer force making them both cry out and howl. She was too hot, too tight, too wet and it made him lose control.   
He pulled Sonja`s head up, so she cannot hide her screams. "I want everybody to hear you howling because of me..."  
"Ja...mes..."she moaned in pure bliss. The tension in her body was merciless, almost driving her to the edge of insanity. Never before had any male been so good.  
"That`s right..."the young blond man, now more man than werewolf, was panting, "I made you mine..."  
"Yours,"she repeated, as she moved her hips to meet with his in this feral abandon."Yours, yours..."  
She trashed her body with bared teeth, completely lost herself in the bliss he gave her. She was making quick, shallow gasps, like a she-wolf in heat. Sonja couldn`t even hear herself screaming his name again and again, and again, while she got her release, like a tantric mantra that was like music to James` ears.   
After a few strong thrusts, the man found his release, making a howl, that was heard miles away.  
They lay awake for some time, staring up to the sky.  
"Maheengun," whispered Sonja.  
"What?"  
"Maheengun, it means wolf." she turned her greenish eyes towards the blonde man." We are the wolves, or... Skinwalkers."  
They made love again, but this time both took the wolf-form, while doing it. Now Sonja was lying on her back, while James took her.   
Both groaned and howled like animals in heat...  
The moonlight shone down, a diffuse glow, lighting the forest from pitch black to charcoal grey.


	4. Chapter 4

When James woke next morning, a dead deer was lying some feet away from him. He didn`t remember the hunt, but his hands were bloody, also his face.  
The deer stared into the sky with eyes that saw nothing. Already they were becoming more dry and dull. She was young and healthy, other than the fact she was dead.  
Blood pooled around it, tinting it's white stomach a dull red... Bitemarks on her neck.  
The young man felt kinda dizzy and tired. The sun was rising, he had to get back to the house.  
The killing had begun. At first, no-one knew it...

But none the less, James was still depressed and he didn`t even care, what had caused it. He`d arrived safely to the safety of the house he and his bandmates owned and now he was sitting in his room, staring into nothing. He saw his ripped clothes on the floor- only proof of his shape shifting last night.  
It had begun to rain heavily outside. Rain. Blessed rain.  
Darkened gray smudges of wool threateningly surrounded the sky; like a predator would encircle its prey. A startling low rumble rang loud in the cool fall air, the sky roaring with satisfaction. Trickles of liquid hit the ground with as much force as a small child. Hungrily, drizzles turn into canon fires, barricading everything in its way. A sense of cleanliness caresses the atmosphere, washing away all impurities. A dense earthly sweet smell rises from the ground, enveloping everything within its soft embrace. The skies suddenly settle, as if it were comforted, coaxed even. The fluffy smudges don't part completely - although the sun peeked out timidly- and rather look like its preparing for an even more vicious round.  
This time James thought, that he wouldn`t drink to sink his depression and tiredness. Actually, to be honest, he wasn`t so tired at all.  
He tried to remember the things that had happened to him in the nearby forest. He remembered pain, a woman...like through the fog, then they both become wolves while having sex. He took a look at his bite mark- it was beginning to heal. When he took a closer look, he saw some white hair around it...  
"Whatever," he said and covered the wound again.  
Slowly, he opened the door of his bed room and wanted to step out, but collided with Dave Mustaine.  
James raised an eyebrow. "Hello...what`s wrong?"  
The taller man stood on the door way, blocking James` way out. Then,Dave apparently reached some inner decision, and he grinned a truly wicked grin, an almost feral light shining in his eyes.  
James said not a word, his eyes drawn magnetically to the sizeable erection tenting Dave's black leather pants. His breath caught in his throat, he didn`t know, what to do or what to say. A part of him wanted to run out of the room, the other part told him to stay.  
"We need...to talk."  
It was starting all over again.  
"What?" A single word, changing on a breath from astonishment to fury and then to deadly calm.  
"Building barriers will not set you free, James. Only bury you in duty and lies."  
"Lies? What lies have I told you? You`re my best friend..."  
"It is not the lies you've told me but the lies you tell yourself, Het."  
James hissed forward, glaring down at a mouth flat in white-lined determination, at shadowed eyes of green stone. "What lies, Mustaine?"  
"It is about fear, your fear."  
James took a step back, closer to the window.  
"It stops. Now."  
There was a sharp exhale of irate astonishment and a flash of blue ice in James` eyes. He looked unyielding as stone.  
Dave refused to back down.  
Of course, James would be nothing but stubborn. Immovable when he thought himself right, he thundered out, "You have no right to speak to me this way. I will not listen!"  
Reaching out, Dave`s fingers grabbed onto one sleeve, fisting there, snaring James with hands still hot with desire. "If nothing else, you will hear what I have to say."  
"Let me go."  
The snarl that came out of James` mouth was ice-cold and edged with hostility. Commanding, almost brutal, he'd only used that tone once before on Dave and for something so colossally stupid that he still cringed at the memory.  
Now James was using it to push Dave away. he could no more let him do that than stop breathing.  
Trying to understand, trying to see what was driving him to turn away from him, Dave asked, "James, what is so terrible that you can't face this?"  
Dave recoiled as if struck, then narrowed eyes dissected James. "You hide behind durasteel walls and talk of duty and touring but your fears betray you."  
"Enough." His cold, viperous rasp, full of warning, hovered between them. "Stop this before it is too late!"  
"It is already too late." It was time to remind him of his own wisdom. "Accept the fear and move beyond it. That's what you yourself always taught me."  
"This is how you use that knowledge? To push your way into things that are none of your concern?" James let the rage bleed into his voice, his hands curling into fists of white bone and fury. His face ached with the frown he sent Dave`s way.  
"Not my concern?" For a single heartbeat, Dave let anger match his, let all the desire and longing and love bleed into core-deep fury. His hands hurt, fists curled tight, wanting to grab the man and shake him until he saw reason.  
the younger man seemed to hesitate between guarding his fears and opening up those neutronium walls he'd built around himself. Dave never seen him so uncertain, so vulnerable.  
His face hardened back into stone. "I will not allow you to ruin your life over desire or attachment. It will bring us both nothing but pain."  
Dave just shook his head. "Don't lie to me, James Hetfield. We both know the truth."  
He watched James changing back into chilled stone. "Dave, enough."  
But Dave was not done. "Do you love me?"  
A simple question and one fraught with danger.  
Surrendering, James nodded a reluctant yes.  
A single nod and suddenly Dave seemed transcendent with joy, his eyes glowing brilliant green. Even his smile was radiant.  
Covering his face with both hands, the younger man sat down to the chair. Tentatively, Dave settled his hands on James`knees, let them rest there for a moment before slowly moving them upward. James` hands captured his, holding them still and Dave lifted questioning eyes to James` face. Their eyes caught and held, blue and green meeting.  
"Dave, you don't have to do this." The hoarse edge in James` voice left little doubt as to what the younger man wanted, but did not want to pressure or force from the his friend before him. And Dave Mustaine knew that, knew that the decision was his and always would be. He pulled one hand free from James` grasp and reached up to lightly stroke his cheek.  
"I know," he whispered and then leaned upward to brush a kiss against James` lips. He felt James` sharp inhalation and before Dave could pull back strong arms captured him, holding him tightly against the younger man as the kiss was deepened. Dave opened his mouth eagerly to the soft pressure of James` tongue against his lips and they kissed ardently, almost frantically.  
James pulled away first, gasping for air as he struggled for calm. *What am I doing...*he thought, trying to get a control over things,*I`m not...*  
Dave's hands resume their previous intention, cupping his aching erection through the fabric of his leather pants. James collapsed back into his chair, trembling as those deft fingers stroked him through the thin leather.  
Then those hands slid away and around James` waist, holding tightly as Dave lowered his face to his James` lap, feeling that hardness against his cheek. He inhaled deeply, nuzzling against the proof of the younger man`s desire for him, relishing the unique feel of it. Gentle hands touched his head, loosening his ponytail and stroking his soft blond hair.  
He pulled back a bit, his hands going to James` belt which he carefully unfastened and removed.  
He could feel the younger man's breathing quicken as he planted little kisses on the smooth skin, and the hands on his head slid lower to rest on his shoulders.  
"Dave," James hissed his name as the quitarist at his pants, trying to lower them. "You don't have to..."  



	5. Chapter 5

Caleb never slept, he only had dreams. Sometimes they were good, sweet, beautiful dreams of times long gone, never to return.  
Sometimes they were nightmares of things, that wouldn`t leave him. Sometimes he saw things, that were coming.  
Tonight it was nightmares...  
He dreamed about a blond strong man becoming a white werewolf and destroying everything on his way. Wide, blue angry eyes staring at him with will to bite and kill...  
He was strong, brave and selfless, everything they weren`t.  
The white wolf was challenging Caleb, wanting to become the new Alpha. And now, they were in more danger...  
And now there he was, new, fresh, innocent and ready to battle.  
Blood did not mean a thing. It was something he graved.  
One of Caleb`s pack was dead, a member of his family.  
There were three men trying to hold the new Alpha back, calling him away...  
Caleb didn`t know why, but weird words begun forming in his brain something about wolves. He knew, he had heared this song before, just couldn`t remember the name.  
A simple phrase - Off through the new day's mist I run, off from the new day's mist I have come,I hunt therefore I am- begun haunting him.  
Caleb knew, when he woke up, that the song had something to do with the white wolf. He`d sensed the new one two days before, when he was looking for Sonja.  
The forest was toxicated with the smell of a strong werewolf, a young one... and Sonja... and something, that made Caleb angry somehow. It was the smell of mixed body liquids, the smell of a wet woman and sex.  
This made Caleb realize, that if not much, but he somehow cared about Sonja. Just a tiny bit. He had turned her down many times and now it seemed, that she had got herself a new mate, a dangerous, strong mate. Maybe too strong.  
The phrase, the weird song kept haunting Caleb on and on and he had to find out why? And... the name of the song. He knew, that it had to do something with the new werewolf.  
Caleb knew, because he was a psychic...  
But first, Caleb had to find the new Alpha and make sure his intensions. Why had Sonja done it afterall?  
Caleb had rejected her two times, but was this the real problem?  
He remembered, when he turned her down again, Sonja had looked at him with anger in her eyes and said :"I gonna find myself a new mate, stronger than you..."  
Now it seemed, that she really had done it. But who was her mate then?  
Caleb had to find out the person and take his chance to get Sonja back and kill the opponent, if possible.

Dave uncovered James` wound. "What is this?" he asked, touching in gently with one finger.  
"I got bit by a wolf, when I arrived here."  
"I never wanted to disappoint you, James." Dave took the injured hand and kissed it. His eyes were sad.  
"You have not disappointed me."  
"It's just.... sometimes it's just...." Dave tried to turn his head away again.  
James would have nothing of that. "What was that, Dave?"  
The sad eyes lifted to his again, new tears gathering in them.  
"It's sometimes just so hard to hide my feelings." Dave Mustaine gulped, turning luminescent eyes up to him. "I just love you so damn much....". He squeezed his eyes shut again and tried in earnest to turn his head out James` firm grip, his right hand coming up to tug at the younger man's wrist. James didn't let go.  
"That is good news."  
"What?" Faint.  
"It would be rather awkward if I were alone in this," and saying so James Hetfield bent down and laid a soft kiss on the stubbornly tightlipped mouth Dave. Dave gasped under him, his lips opening in astonishment and James let his tongue flicker between them, making the other man a sudden boneless bundle in his arms. He let the sweet lips go and placed a soothing kiss on the high forehead.  
Face flushed with desire, James forced himself to hold back for a moment.  
Lips again. Touching. Exploring. Tongues joined in, tasting. Feasting. Dave locked his arms around James` neck and lifted one leg around his hip, trying to get closer. Taking the hint, James slipped one hand behind each of Dave's thighs and hoisted him up, Dave obligingly opened his legs, gripping his lover's hips, allowing James the leverage he needed to thrust and rub their aching cocks together.  
Dave broke away from the kiss, dragging air into his lungs, "It's not enough," he complained as he rained kisses over the beloved face before him.  
James pushed him to the bed, then stripped himself slowly. Dave watched helplessly, becoming more aroused as each length of skin was revealed to his hungry gaze. Finally, he could do naught but stare at the powerful strength of his naked lover, and at the instrument of pleasure that would soon be buried within his own body. His cock twitched and wept at the prospect, his hand reached to caress himself helplessly. Everything about James Hetfield was large and powerful, and his sex was no exception. The thick shaft rose above pendulous balls, with prominent veins twisting their way around the tall shaft, up to the smooth, plum-like head, which seemed to kiss the skin just below his navel.  
"Dave, we don't have to do this tonight," James offered. "Dave?"  
Emerald eyes slowly rose to meet concerned sapphire, "Don't even think about backing out of this," was his fierce reply. "It's just that it's been over a year since I've . . ." his eyes lowered and refocused on the object of his desire, ". . . and you're just so much . . . more than I've ever taken . . . I -"  
All thought of speech promptly fled as James all but pounced on him. Mouths feasted hungrily as James` large hands swept across Dave's lean frame. Dave had been so caught up in the kiss that he didn't even realize he was naked until James` lips left his to start a leisurely path down his throat, to his chest. Detour to nipple. Lick, nibble, suck. Dave moaned and his hands tangled in James` hair, urging his lover to pay attention to the other nipple.  
James smiled, allowing himself to be led, and as his lips latched around the small nub, one hand moved up to worry the nipple he had just left while the other trailed down and wrapped itself around the hard heat of Dave's straining cock. He gathered the moisture that was weeping profusely from the tip and spread it lovingly around the sensitive head. Dave responded with a moan and an uncontrollable thrust.  
*Lovely, that . . .* James thought, with a moan of his own. Fingers gathered more moisture from the weeping slit, moved down the shaft, a light scratch in the curls at the base, then back up to tease the sensitive spot just below the head, then swirl around the tip again. Over and over, taking his time, revelling in his own pleasure at the uninhibited sounds coming from the twisting body beneath him.  
Dave's hands fisted in the sheets, reduced to a quivering ball of need. He had been dreaming about this moment for so long, but he had never been able to imagine quite this amount of desire, this amount of pleasure . . . this amount of love. As he thrust mindlessly into the firm grip around his cock, he pleaded with his lover, "More . . . Please, more . . ."  
James swiftly moved down and engulfed Dave's cock in his mouth. When his lips settled around the base, and he could taste his lover's essence at the back of his throat, he moved one hand to gently fondle the sensitive sack. As he moved up and down Dave's cock, massaging with tongue and lips, he started to hum.  
The older man couldn't believe the wet heat of James` mouth as it enveloped him, but the vibrations from the humming seemed to travel from his cock into the depths of his groin and up his spine. He tried to sit up, one hand on James` shoulder, prodding at the immovable, "James, please - " his voice trailed off into another deep moan, "I can't . . ."  
James increased his suction and his movements, "Let go, Dave . . . Come for me, my love."  
The words, combined with a surge of love along their bond, triggered Dave's orgasm. His back arched, every muscle in his body clenched, and he came into James` mouth. James swallowed every surge, then kept the softening cock in his mouth, gently cleaning it of every trace of release. He then moved up the bed and wrapped himself around his limp lover, taking his lips in a gentle, loving kiss.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for not writing such a long time. But I have been busy with my job.

When Sonya walked back to Caleb and his men, Caleb was waiting for her.  
"Where have you been?" he snarled, sniffing the air. "You have the stink of another male on you!"  
Sonja`s green eyes blazed, she was angry. " You yourself pushed me away... Now you wanna tell me, that I can`t do, whatever I want?"  
"You were supposed to be my mate!!!" Caleb wanted to grab her wrist, but she avoided him. Caleb wanted to step closer, but there was something menacing in her blazing eyes. She bared her teeth, like a wolf...  
"Not anymore." She walked inside the house, slamming the door behind her.  
*What have I done?* worried Caleb, putting his fingers into his brown hair.* She might destroy us all. Must find her new mate!*  
He went outside, looking for Grenier and Zo. He found them sitting close to the river, drinking. Grenier`s hawk was sitting nearby.  
"Look boys, we have a problem..."  
Zo looked at him, while finishing his beer. "And that is..."  
Caleb sighed, he wasn`t sure, how to come out with this. But he had to.  
"Sonya`s found a new mate..."he looked at Grenier, "maybe your hawk could track her down, so we could find her boyfriend?"  
"Why?" Grenier was a lazy guy, but he wanted to help his leader.  
"Look... I smelled the new werewolf on Sonya and he`s dangerous. All I can say, that he isn`t local and he`s white as wolf and that means he`s gotta have blonde hair."  
"Oh I see... we need to check all the blonde strong guys nearby."  
"Something like that."

James Hetfield awoke slowly, languidly. A curiously erotic sensation was sending delightful shivers up and down his spine. After a moment, he realized that Dave's tongue licking at the soft skin behind his ear was the likely cause.   
He smiled, his eyes still closed, and let himself drift with the wonderful feelings his lover offered to him. His eyes snapped open at that thought and a cold shudder wracked his body. Dave jerked up and flashed him a confused expression. "James? What have I done wrong?"   
James smiled to the reddish-blonde man next to him. "Wrong? Nothing. What do you expect from me..."James tried to get up.   
"I'll show you what I expect," Dave Mustaine interrupted with a growl.  
He let his legs slip to either side of James' hips, rolling his pelvis forward so that their erections met through the fabric of their clothes, the blonde man's fully as hard as his own. "This is what I expect, Hetfield," he said.   
"Dave, please . . ."  
"No," Dave said, raising his head and pegging James with a menacing look of his own. "Here are only two men who love each other, who need each other. Do you want this, James? Do you truly want this?"  
"Yes, but..."  
Dave silenced his lips with two fingers. "Then, we shall have it. Give this to me. Let me give this to you..."  
Dave's hands seized James' head, as if to hold it captive. His fingers tightened in the long locks and he pulled their mouths even more firmly together.  
At the same time he pinned one of James' muscular thighs between his legs and began to rub his now achingly hard member against it. James moved his hands to Dave's buttocks, and used the leverage to thrust his own erection against Dave's hip.  
But then suddenly a seizure hit him. He fell to the floor, gritting his teeth in pain. 

"James?"The name was a dry whisper on Dave`s lips. "James, wake up..." The younger man in Dave's arms showed no sign of coming around.   
Suddenly, James Hetfield stiffened, head and neck snapping forward and back, eyes wide open.   
"Easy, James!" Caught off-guard, Dave Mustaine nearly lost his grip on the blond man. "You are well and safe," Dave said, swallowing convulsively against the fear that had risen in his chest. "Be at ease."   
James' muscles tensed again, and he twisted in Dave's arms, but he made no attempt to get away. "The wolves..."he whispered.  
A shaky hand slowly reached up to touch Dave's face. Gently it traced a line down his cheek to his red-blond curly hair. "You...did not leave me...?"  
Dave held his tightly. "I will not leave you! I don`t know, what`s wrong with you, but I`ll be here for you."  
"The...bite..."came a quiet reply.  
"What?"  
"The bite...on my arm..."  
Dave bent down and kissed James deeply. The kiss held all the rightness of lovers destined for each other since the beginning of time. Both were delighted at the sensation and taste of the other and quickly took the kiss deeper. Their tongues twined and Dave moaned deeply into the younger man's mouth.   
Dave took James' cock in his left hand, stroking it firmly, as with his right he searched for his opening. He caressed the heavy balls and then just underneath them found the opening he so desired. He rubbed it gently, noticing a slight tensing in James' legs.  
"I promise I'll go slowly," he said, and pressed the finger inside.  
There was a silent moan, James covered his face with both hands.  
Now two fingers stroked and stretched the younger man as deep inside him as possible.   
*You are so beautiful,* James thought, as he put his hand over Dave's, stopping the movement within him.  
"You're ready?" Dave asked, having expected to stretch him further with a third finger.   
James nodded.   
"I never dreamed this could be possible," Dave said, but then James was silencing him again with fingers to his lips.  
He knelt close to James' bottom and hooked the other`s legs over his elbows. Their eyes never left each other as with a final deep breath, Dave pressed the head of his cock to James' opening and then pushed inside. The head slid in, and then an inch and another inch until he was fully sheathed. The tight warmth of that passage gripping his cock, was almost enough to bring him to orgasm.  
Slowly, Dave Mustaine pulled out to the crown and then pushed back, taking his time. He pulled out again and when he plunged back in the most remarkable thing occurred, James moaned.  
"You okay?" Dave asked, locking his eyes with James.  
Dave moved again, pulling out and then thrusting back in, and this time they moaned together.   
Again and again, moans and little whimpers came from the younger man as they moved in synchronicity, rocking their bodies together.  
Those moans were enough to drive any man wild, but the fact that Dave knew that James was new in this, made them even more erotic. He could not hold back much longer and James' responsiveness was growing. All too soon their orgasms were upon them, seducing them over the edge.  
James came first, spurting seed on his stomach, the sight of which triggered Dave's release. He poured himself inside the youth as each of their bodies trembled from exertion. Then he released James' legs and dropped down on top of him.  
It took several minutes for their breathing to recover. They were both now covered in sweat and come and tangled around each other...


	7. Chapter 7

James slowly woke up next to Dave, who was quietly snoring.  
"Jesus... my head is killing me," James tried to relax.  
Dave Mustaine woke up and touched his shoulder," James?" he asked, worry in his green eyes. Then he stood, enough to kneel next to James and pulled him into a forceful kiss. Their tongues met, James grabbed a hold on Dave`s shoulders, while Dave`s hand worked between his legs. James moaned into the kiss.  
"Dave," he broke the kiss, looking at the redhead, "you sure?"  
Dave nodded. "Yeah."  
Then James had those cramp-like things again.  
"You`re doing that again..."said Dave.  
"Not again..."  
"Are you *sure* it's just cramps?"  
"Just so you know... the words "just" and "cramps," they don't go together..."  
They kissed again, this time James tried to overpower Dave, pressing him into the mattress.  
He felt a weird urge coming over him, his moans sounded more like wolfish growls now. Then, without realising, he suddenly bit Dave`s lip.  
"Ow..."Dave covered his mouth with hand and looked at James, fear in his eyes.  
"Stop..."James growled, eyes glowing like red candles. He made a sound between howl and growl. Dave was struck with fear.  
"James...no.."he yelled, while James` hands took the form of a werewolf. He pushed Dave down with one hand, the other left long nailmarks to the wall.  
Trying to get free, Dave had to hit his jaw. James fell to the floor, growling with surprise and anger.  
Dave slowly backed away from him, eyes wide with fear and surprise. "What`s the matter with you?" he somehow got out. He stood, his back against the door and couldn`t move an inch.  
James turned his head and seeing the open window, simply jumped out, into the deep night.

"When the Red Moon hangs low, the line between Man and Beast is blurred.” commented Sonja, when she saw James taking the form of the werewolf , where they met 3 nights before.  
The man, covered with white fur, smelled the female and let out a low growl. It wasn`t a warning, but a call for his mate.  
Then James slowly turned his piercing-blue eyes to Sonja. "Do you bury me when I'm gone? Do you teach me while I'm here? Just as soon as I belong, then it's time I disappear..."  
Sonja, while in the middle of shapeshifting, moved cautiously closer. "Calm your fury..."  
"It`s time to dissapear..."  
The she-wolf could feel the confusion in his mind, but then she noticed something new. She had been followed by Zo, Grenier and even Caleb. Now, this was bad...  
Sonja ran to James, hugging him tightly. "James..."  
The man, in-between shapeshifting, calmed down somehow. "Why did you come?" he growled.  
"When I break in the middle of the night, my Demons are the ones who hold me tight. But I want you to be there instead of my dark mind..."she whispered."In the Darkness I found light... in the Light I found fucking pretenders..."  
James looked at Sonja, then he saw 3 figures slowly coming closer. "No one but me can save myself, but it's too late... Now I can't think, think why I should even try."  
Caleb, eyes like green emerald stepped into the dim moonlight.  
"What have you done, Sonja?" he asked.  
James just stood, unmoving, not sure either he should attack the other man or walk away.  
"What have I done?" repeated Sonja, eyes full of anger and bitterness. "I chose myself a new mate!"  
"Do you know, WHO he is?" Caleb asked, walking slowly around James.  
"He is James. My new Alpha."  
"Wrong. He isn`t just James, you stupid woman..."  
Now this made James` blood boil. "Don`t you dare to call her stupid!" he snarled, nails looking more and more like huge claws.  
When Caleb sniffed air very close to him, he turned around, ready to attack or defend himself.  
" What the hell?" he snapped, the other Alpha was ready to fight. "What is it you think you're going to find?"  
Caleb nodded towards Sonja. " Do you think she`s pretty?"  
James cocked his head a bit, so his blond curly hair covered one eye. "She made me."  
Sonja came between Caleb and James, pushing Caleb out of her way. "You know, we aren`t almost connected anymore..."  
In a second of anger, Caleb hit her so hard, that Sonja flew 5 meters and landed heavily against an oak.  
This triggered James` anger and he quickly shapeshifted into a huge, whire werewolf. Caleb stepped back, amazed by it`s size.  
"Do it again..." the white Alpha moved closer, teeth bared.  
Caleb didn`t want to fight him alone, so he backed away. "Guys, don`t touch him," he warned, but Zo thought other way.  
Like a black flash he jumped to attack the new werewolf. Zo was rogue before Caleb met him and took him into his pack.  
He had calmed down since then, but not fully. So when he attacked the white newcomer, he wanted to prove himself to the leader.  
"Stop, Zo,"growled Caleb, but it was already too late.  



	8. Chapter 8

"You`ll join us or die..."roared Zo.  
"There's no escape from this rage that I feel!" James was getting more and more angry, mostly because of Caleb, who had injured the she-wolf. "This is a war that can never be won!"  
He pushed Zo against the brick wall.  
"Let me go!"Zo tried to fight back, but he wasn`t any match against James` brutal strenght.  
"I'll fight forever as the heavens fall"James turned his sapphire eyes to Grenier and Caleb." You wanna test me? I know, I'll destroy you!"  
A sudden gush of pain jolted throughout Zo’s body. His stomach ached, his arms lost tension and his legs began to weaken. "He will not get the better of me," he thought as he dropped to the ground. His tongue was soaked in the taste of blood. His own blood...  
Sonja screamed and James had to turn his head. Her scream was the kind of strangled cry that belongs to those not long for this world. A scream of one in mortal terror, rooted to the spot and too afraid to run.  
"Don`t...you touch her..." James jumped between Sonja and Caleb.  
"Or what?" was the roaring answer. Caleb tried to move around James, but the younger man stopped him.  
His eyes turned sapphire blue, hands started transforming into huge paws with long black claws. Caleb didn`t step back.  
Their eyes locked, Caleb`s heart stopped for a moment, James` head tilted to the side. Caleb couldn`t break eye contact with James, he physically couldn`t...  
Something in those blue eyes was holding him captive and refusing him to move. It made panic flare in his chest. Caleb felt like he was in deep trance. Caleb was too numb to realize how truly terrified he was. The spell was broken as James` blue eyes looked at Sonja, who was trying to stand up.  
*This one is really strong,* thought Caleb, still refusing to leave. When he looked left, he was, that Zo was already dying...just like in his nightmares.  
The other werewolf, Grenier, sat in the semi-shadow, his heart a steady rhythm. He knew no fear; he liked it that way. To be at the top of the food chain was his piece of mind, his warped version of serenity. Every movement he made was slow, deliberate. Killing was such sweet pleasure it had to be savoured, to hurry was bad form, like eating fine food too fast.  
Caleb thought, that it would be wise to retreat. Doing that, he left Zo`s body and wounded Sonja behind.  
In Caleb`s mind were racing different emotions- anger, dissapointment and sadness. Anger, because Zo was dead, killed by the new werewolf. Dissapointment, because Sonja had betrayed him and got herself a new mate. Sadness, because he wanted her back.  
But she was wounded and the new wolf, James, didn`t let Caleb to touch her.  
"I`ll be seeing you again,"Caleb roared, starting to move back into the shadows of the forest.  
James snorted, then turned his attention back to Sonja. "Can you stand?"  
Sonja gritted her teeth and struggled to get up. After a few tries she gave up, falling into the thick grass.  
"No... I cannot..."  
James knelt beside her, put one hand under her neck and with the other hand, tried to get her up. "Relax... it might hurt, but I cannot leave you here."  
He picked her up gently, Sonja put her hands around his neck, head resting on his shoulder.  
"I have...to get you...into safety.."James panted, while carrying her to the house, where his bandmates were waiting for him.  
"Don`t..."whispered Sonja, "I ruined your life...James...Hetfield..." she passed out.  
Confused and worried, James somehow opened the front door and made his way inside.  
Dave Mustaine was the first of his friends, who came to see, what`s happaned.  
"Who...is she?"  
"She is the reason, why I am a werewolf..." James looked down, not daring to gaze back at Dave. "Did I hurt ...you bad?"  
Together, James and Dave helped Sonja to the huge bed. She was still losing blood, getting weaker with every hour.  
*Do I, cut the ties? Or do I, hold on tight?!*thought James. A huge part of him wanted to get free from this werewolf curse, the other part told him to accept it.* Would she hear me, if I call her name?*  
Sighing, Sonja fell to the bed, wrapping her hands around her weak body. Letting out a quiet sob, she clutched on James` body harder.  
"Easy now..."he soothed, one hand around her waits, the other stroking her almost black and messy hair. "I`m here. You`re safe now... it`s going to be okay..."  
Her tears soaked his shirt, he didn`t seem to mind. His hand moved in small circles on her back.  
Quietly James begun singing a song, to ease Sonja`s pain :  
"One sealed black window  
One only frame to the outside  
So many days, so many years  
Lost in this fading slumber  
You are connected, to the world above us  
This is a new step down to your life  
Follow your fate, unleash your mind

You feel me time to time  
Every night you repeal your will  
Come... Come to me...  
Release yourself, let you dawn

Forlorn in your call  
There's no daylight to hope  
All these voices you hear  
Like a child in a crowd  
Unblinded by your own fear  
You started to see by your eyes  
Spellbound by your new sense  
Unbind your chains  
Ride freedom, once again

Leave your fears, reach the skies beyond  
Let yourself lead you insight  
Leave your fears, reach the skies beyond  
You're no longer a part of this world..."  



	9. Chapter 9

Dave came hesitantly behind James, looking over his shoulder.  
"What should we do?"  
James sighed. He was sad and torn apart. "I... don`t know."  
Sonja opened her now foggy eyes slowly and looked up. "Khhhhhhhh..."  
"What?" James bent down to hear better. "What did you say?"  
"Kill..l-ll... meee..."  
"No! I can`t!" James stepped back, but Dave put hand on his shoulder.  
"We must sacrifise her body to save her soul. And yours!"  
Sonja managed to move into half-sitting position somehow, still bleeding hard. Her face was pale, like a corpse`s face already.   
"Just... do it..."she whispered."Please!!"  
James grabbed Dave`s arm and dragged him out of the room.

"I can`t just shoot her in the head!" sighed James, sitting in the middle of the kitchen. Then, he eyed Dave, who was standing some feet away from him. "Yes, well... she`s a werewolf, we had sex.."  
Dave didn`t move a muscle. He was both disappointed and angry. "You slept with her?"  
"When I was a werewolf, yes... Look, I still have feelings for you..."  
"I don`t know, what to say..." Dave`s hands turned into fists," I`m not sure, if I can trust you anymore. You`re a freakin` werewolf!"  
"You don`t have to," James had a weird look in his eyes. "When it`s all over, you and anybody else won`t be seeing me anymore!"  
"What are you going to do?" asked Dave.  
"First, I have to kill these werewolves and then get rid of this curse..."  
"How?" Dave put his hand on James` shoulder. "Look, I was a little harsh..."  
"You were." James looked him deep in the eye. "I don`t know even myself, what I want. So don`t judge me here. Okay?"  
Dave took James` head between his hands. "I still love you, you know..."  
"I do." James didn`t move, his shoulders fell down, he relaxed. "I just don`t know, what to do with her..."  
"It sounds like a murder to me," Dave looked at the floor. He couldn`t imagine James or anyone killing that poor werewolf-girl.   
"In order to save her soul, we must sacrifise her body. I...just cannot raise my hand against her. Still I know, that she`s in agony."  
Dave got his pistol between his belt and wanted James to have it.  
James looked at him with eyes wide. He took a sharp breath. "I... must do...it..."  
Slowly, he opened the door to the huge room and went in. Then he closed it and everything was quiet for a long time. A gunshot echoed through the small house. It was over.  
James came out, tears in his eyes, the gun was smoking. He fell to his knees, crying.   
When James looked Dave`s way he could see he's one more blow away from breaking. It's intervention time. Dave knew where he's heading and no matter the name of the town it's nowhere good. So he had to step up right now or loose him forever, demonstrate his love with his actions, show that he would die for James, suffer for him, yet ultimately, live for him.  
"I`m so sorry," he whispered, holding James close.   
James` head fell to Dave`s shoulder, he was quietly crying. Dave could feel it in the way his body was moving, his breathing.  
"I am a murderer," he sobbed, "an animal..."  
"No, you did what you had to do."  
"Did I?"  
James turned around and ran into his private room, slamming the door shut. There he really started to break down. When he cried there was a rawness to it, like the pain was still an open wound. He would clasp onto something for support, anything, a table or the back of a chair, and then his whole body would shake. The sobs were stifled at first as he attempted to hide his grief, then overcome by the wave of his emotions he would break down entirely, all his defences washed away in those salty tears.   
As much as he tried to hold it in, the pain came out like an uproar from his throat in the form of a silent scream. The beads of water started falling down one after another, without a sign of stopping. James hit the wall and tried to scream, but his voice was melted by the sound of the place. The muffled sobs wracked against his chest. The world turned into a blur, and so did all the sounds. The taste. The smell. Everything was gone. The last painful emotion slammed against his before he lost the feeling of feeling. Everything darkened into nothingness as he passed into the oblivion of unconsciousness.

Some hours later James woke up in his room. He felt sad and cold. He looked around in his room. The room has no fragrance of flowers, though some sit in a dried up vase on the table. Neither is there an odour of rotting stems or leaves. Whatever hue of green they once were they are now so subdued, like modern art of what they once were. Their heads are still in bud, never to unfurl the beauty they once promised. Sonja was dead and he had to go on...


	10. Chapter 10

Slowly, so slowly, James went down the stairs to his bandmates. He wasn`t the same anymore, not from outside nor inside.   
His blond hair was a mess, his eyes were red and he was both angry and in grief.   
"We buried her to a nearby cemetery,"Dave said quietly.  
"Show me..."

After a walk, what took almost over an hour, James and Dave reached the cemetery. All that is left of the fine people of this cemetery was the decrepit stones. Under the soil is nothing but more soil, even bones don't last that long in the damp ground. Yet still this place was nowhere to be after nightfall. No-one came there who means any good, so though it is empty almost every dusk 'til dawn, it puts the chills on even the toughest of folks.  
Dave showed him the fresh gravestone, with Sonja`s name on it. The gravestone was as white as the crystalline snow. Under the steady glow of the full moon it seemed to have an aura of its own.   
"I must leave this place," James Hetfield sighed, after planting a white rose to Sonja`s gravestone.  
The rain was coming. There is an intense anxiety to the rain, as if between the tumbling cloud and the earth it is fearful of never reaching its destination. The sound alone is enough to make me pace the dusty boards, arms folded across a chest that rises and falls more abruptly than it should. The sound of this rain, so soothing to some, is enough to drown out every other noise.   
"Show me your hand."asked Dave, stopping James from walking away.  
Dave did, as the other man asked and pulled the bandage up. There was no bite-wound nor white hair anymore. It was all healed, like there had never been anything.  
"Seems to me, that`s I am no more a werewolf,"sighed James. Somehow, he felt relieved, but deep inside, there was sadness.   
Dave took his hand and didn`t let it go, until they were back in the summer house again.   
James loved this particular house. It was like his second home or something.   
The cottage was so small it looked more like a doll's house than a human dwelling. The bricks it was build of were old and crumbly and very pale red. It had a grey slate roof and one small chimney, and there were to little windows at the front. Each window was no larger than a sheet of tabloid newspaper and there was clearly no upstairs to the place. On either side of the path there was a wilderness of nettles and blackberry thorns and long brown grass, An enormous oak tree stood overshadowing the cottage. It's massive spreading branches seemed to be enfolding and embracing the tiny building, and perhaps hiding it as well from the rest of the world.  
"Sad, that we must leave this place again,"commented Jason Newsted. "but next year we`ll be back."  
"If I can." James sat down into the tall grass. "This place gives me so much emotions..."  
"Oh come on, man!" Jason smiled, "One year is hopefully long enough to forget most of this..."  
James nodded, scratching his jaw.   
"I really hope so." he turned around and followed Dave to the tourbus.

“Are you just going to lie there all day? You’ve seriously been lying in the exact same spot for over twenty-four hours, and believe me; you look like a freak. And just so you know, you’re getting seriously red and tanned at the same time, which is weird. You do remember that we’re leaving today and we need to pack, right?” Dave asked James, when they were about to leave.  
"Whatever,"sighed James Hetfield, "let`s just go."  
Calmly, without showing any emotions, he went outside. He walked like a man, who`d lost a huge part of himself.  
"Dave," whispered Jason quietly, "he doesn`t seem well. We really should watch him..."  
"I know. He`s been through a lot of weird things."  
James sat in the end of the tour bus, curled himself into sleeping position and didn`t move again. He raised his head, when Dave Mustaine came to sit next to him.  
"How are you feeling?" he asked, putting his arm around James` shoulder.  
"Empty..."  
(...)


End file.
